Blogs By
Ralph H. Kilmann

Addressing the four timeless topics: conflict,
change, consciousness, and transformation

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

Since the early 1970s, two dimensions have been used to plot the five conflict modes: Assertiveness and Cooperativeness (my attempts to satisfy my own needs versus my attempts to satisfy the other person's needs, respectively). Occasionally, these two dimensions were modified to Person A and Person B, as just another way of focusing on the needs and concerns of two people engaged in an interpersonal conflict....

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

Since the start of these blogs, I have posted numerous discussions on various aspects of consciousness, conflict, truth, and resolution. As it turns out, those particular discussions were often drawn from an autobiographical book that I was writing during the past seven years. Finally, that book has been published: The Courageous Mosaic: Awakening Society, Systems, and Souls....

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

There appears to be a rapid increase in the use of e-mail exchanges for resolving all kinds of personal and workplace conflicts. Instead of taking the extra time for phone calls, virtual meetings, or those old-fashioned face-to-face discussions, people are texting or e-mailing their concerns and solutions to one another....

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

I'd like to comment on a seven-day workshop I attended in Westminster, Colorado. This experience is called "Ultimatum" and is based on the work of Dr. Donald Epstein, a chiropractor, who has developed several mind/body/spirit disciplines and has written several books and many articles. The forty or so participants who attended, including myself, learned (and energetically experienced) so much in a relatively short period of time. But I can share a few gems....

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

I'd like to share some of the work I've done with applying the TKI in groups in order to improve conflict-handling behavior and thus performance. This work adds some interesting dimensions to the TKI training that is typically done with individuals in a workshop session (not in their intact work groups), one-on-one coaching with clients, or mediation between two people....

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

At times, when two people can't achieve a workable resolution to their conflict (whether in their personal or professional lives), I have found it useful to frame the dialogue as resolving different versions of the TRUTH: What really happened, did anything happen at all, and what is the real truth between the different stories and versions of reality?...

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Defing success in using any assessment tool with clients, which necessarily includes applying the theory or model behind the assessment, is very complex and thus depends on a great variety of criteria that stem from different stakeholder needs and perspectives. For the sake of convenience, however, I find it useful to sort the "success factors" into (1) the PROCESSES of using the assessment/model and (2) the OUTCOMES from using the assessment/model....

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Although most of my work in conflict management has been in organizational settings, every now and then I have found myself in divorce mediations—because of recommendations from friends and acquaintances. In those cases when I have used the TKI assessment and the TKI Conflict Model (the latter shows the various dimensions that connect the dots representing the five conflict-handling modes), this is what I have learned to date:...