Blogs By
Ralph H. Kilmann

Posts on the topics of conflict,
change, consciousness,
and transformation

19 Jan

Posted at 14:17h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

I'd like to comment on a seven-day workshop I attended in Westminster, Colorado. This experience is called "Ultimatum" and is based on the work of Dr. Donald Epstein, a chiropractor, who has developed several mind/body/spirit disciplines and has written several books and many articles. The forty or so participants who attended, including myself, learned (and energetically experienced) so much in a relatively short period of time. But I can share a few gems....

05 Dec

Posted at 14:16h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

I'd like to share some of the work I've done with applying the TKI in groups in order to improve conflict-handling behavior and thus performance. This work adds some interesting dimensions to the TKI training that is typically done with individuals in a workshop session (not in their intact work groups), one-on-one coaching with clients, or mediation between two people....

30 Oct

Posted at 14:13h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)

At times, when two people can't achieve a workable resolution to their conflict (whether in their personal or professional lives), I have found it useful to frame the dialogue as resolving different versions of the TRUTH: What really happened, did anything happen at all, and what is the real truth between the different stories and versions of reality?...

16 Oct

Posted at 14:11h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Defing success in using any assessment tool with clients, which necessarily includes applying the theory or model behind the assessment, is very complex and thus depends on a great variety of criteria that stem from different stakeholder needs and perspectives. For the sake of convenience, however, I find it useful to sort the "success factors" into (1) the PROCESSES of using the assessment/model and (2) the OUTCOMES from using the assessment/model....

03 Oct

Posted at 14:10h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Although most of my work in conflict management has been in organizational settings, every now and then I have found myself in divorce mediations—because of recommendations from friends and acquaintances. In those cases when I have used the TKI assessment and the TKI Conflict Model (the latter shows the various dimensions that connect the dots representing the five conflict-handling modes), this is what I have learned to date:...

03 Aug

Posted at 14:09h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

At a much earlier time in my career, I addressed the disciplines of conflict management and change management as if they were distinct topics. Gradually, however, I began to see the very strong connection—marriage—between these two fields of study: In fact, it's now impossible for me to see or use one approach without the other. ...

26 Jun

Posted at 14:08h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Can the TKI Conflict Model (i.e., the five conflict modes along with the assertiveness, cooperativeness, distributive, integrative, and protective dimensions) shed some (healing) light on the political behavior in the countries throughout the world, especially with regard to elections, the global economy, nuclear programs, military strength, debt reduction, educational and health programs (to name a few challenging conflicts in the political realm)?...

06 Jun

Posted at 14:06h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

I would like to describe a simple method I've used to resolve the extreme polarization that can occur in high-intensity conflicts, where people have deeply stereotyped misperceptions of the other that remain frozen in time—and thus inaccessible. This simple method can also raise the empathy of both parties...

10 Apr

Posted at 14:05h in Uncategorized by

by Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Recently, I have been addressing questions about bullying behavior in the workplace and how to use the TKI Conflict Model to help understand and better manage such difficult situations. In my consulting work, I have often had to counsel members and managers who were experienced as making life in the organization unbearable, dangerous, and fearful for others—usually by their extreme aggressiveness and sometimes by their extreme passivity. ...